Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Here We Go Again

My mind started to labor from day one of my new assignment. Ever since I set my foot on to my work, I subjected myself in deep deliberation, occupying my thoughts on the challenges and opportunities in my new job.

Exciting indeed that I got myself so engrossed with work, that to my delight I ceased to think about how my future love life will unfold, and what a sorry state I am currently in - for the lack it. My wishful reveries have been replaced with ponderous work plans and how I can further improve the whole system. Gone are the days when I would stare at the sky and wonder who and where my future leading man is? Gone are the longings for that desire to be loved and cherished. Gone are the thoughts of insecurities.

For some reason, I feel a newfound power, being single. Happy and free, I can do anything I want, I can go wherever I want, and I am accountable to nobody but myself. I have never felt so “full” and complete. There’s more to life than waiting for Mr. Right, and much more to conquer still… while he hasn’t arrived. And oh, how I want to explore the infinite possibilities of what I can do. I am sassy, single, and satisfied. Yes, I have been carrying this outlook for sometime now. And I am so proud of it.

Then here comes the twist. I found out that “Mr. Unexpected Moments” is coming back here in the Philippines for an update review of the project we did several months back, when we first met. My first reaction, “Ok. No big deal. That was a thing of the past and my girlish fancies over him has died.” … Or so I thought.

Last Friday, a senior officer asked me to call him for a favor… What? Me, call him? Me, ask him a favor?

But a good soldier must do what he’s got to do. And so I called. Lucky, I would say, he was not available at his desk. But I left a message on his voice mail, hopeful that that would suffice to bring my message (errr… request) across. Thank heavens I would not have any encounter with him anymore.

But why am I so jittery about this whole thing? Why does the idea of talking to him frighten me? Why do I again feel weird when I left a message on his voice mail?

The answer was validated when he called me, after receiving my message. Goodness, I miss the sound of his voice, and his way of calling my name brought music to my ears. Listening to him talk, I can somehow feel him smile. It felt good. Warm. Comforting. As I hung the phone, I felt a surge of flush on my cheeks. My eyes glittered with smile.

As I dreamily looked out in the window, I asked Fate if she’s playing a game on me again? I asked Wisdom if she can guide me? I asked Strength if she can help me?

The real test will be when I come to meet him face to face.

4 comments:

Pie said...

take it easy rhy. :) you be strong! and enjoy everything that comes your way!

BabyPink said...

i second tit pie's motion!:)

padayon lang, rhy!

ANNA said...

hi rye, thanks for the call last weekend. it was nice hearing from you. i wish you the best in everything, take care!

Anne said...

WOW!!! luv the girl power.. =) perks of being single - FREEDOM!