Monday, November 21, 2005

Carrot-On-the Stick No More

I was startled when I heard the news. My "carrot" has left the company, for personal reasons. When I read the email I froze for a while. Staring at my monitor, I tried to digest the news. I could not believe he’s gone. Funny, how he really held his reputation as a man of “unexpected moments”. He caught me by surprise when he held a special spot in my heart. Now he stunned me again when he left. Yes, he held up to his expectations even up to the end.

He showed no signs at all from the last time we saw each other. Or was I blinded then with my preoccupations and paranoia?

A couple of officemates even teased me when they found out. Telling me how such a loss it is. Looking through their eyes, I know what they meant - the loss of potential possibilities. I was taunted by one saying, “Too bad. I think he has a thing for you.”

Not giving in to their jeers, I just smiled. I just allowed them to talk while I patiently listened. Until it came to a point where it made me ask myself, could it be really possible that what they are saying might be true? But nah! I just shrugged my head. How silly of me to entertain such thought. Beside, if by some remote chance that it could be true, will it matter? Will it make any difference? … He’s gone.

Seriously, I consider his leaving as a loss for the company. Putting my infatuation aside, He has a brilliant mind. I admire how he can see through things, dissect the situation and make effective recommendations from thereon. But I think his decision is for his own good. And wherever he is, I wish him well.

Goodbye? Well, he said his goodbye the last time he visited here. And that was his last. Finally, the chase is over. That carrot on the stick is gone. I could now end that dream of reaching for the unreachable.

I believe God has given a certain role for each person that we meet in our lives. That "Carrot" has taught me to open my heart anew. After a very painful breakup, I thought then that I would be incapable of opening my heart. But he took me by surprise and made me realize otherwise. … Unfortunately his role was just to teach. Now that he has completed his role in my life, time for him to leave. With his departure, my only wish is that whatever role I have in his life, I wish I completed it too.


BabyPink said...

sobra ka naman, sis. hindi pa naman patay ang tao. may chance pa naman kayong magkita, "somewhere down the road" moment baga. and, besides, there's email and all kaya pwede pa mag-communicate or something, 'di ba?:)

Rhyanne said...

thanks for lifting me up!

but this time I know - it's over.

don't worry, there will some other guy somewhere out there...

Pie said...

anong over? :) oo nga, you sound as if he left the planet already and you cant keep in touch... im not encouraging you or anything, it's just that "you'll never know 'di ba?" :) even (former) friends (from work) keep in touch. :)