Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Gloomy Day

Gloomy Day

Today, the skies are gray… and so am I.

Attribute this to holiday blues? Chirstmas is in the air. It’s the season to celebrate togetherness, sharing happy moments with loved ones. Inasmuch as I do not want to admit, times like these heighten the need for that special someone – someone to hug me and give me warmth; someone to kiss me under the mistletoe; someone to share this season with.

Nevertheless this is not reason enough for me not to be merry. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am not desperate for a special someone (at least, not yet). What I feel is pretty normal for any single person – male or female. And I suppose this is not the main reason why I’m sad.

I was supposed to join a reunion last night. But a series of fortuitous events got in the way. My cousin’s surprise arrival and my sudden tummy trouble prevented me from going. It’s already sad enough that I missed the reunion, but now I think I have a bunch of disappointed people. Who, I fear would carry on that grudge – forever?

I could not blame them. It’s supposed to be our 5th anniversary. But it felt as if I stood them up, with my no-show. I sent out my apologies – but all I got was silence. I ought to feel touched by their reaction. It indicates how they miss my presence and how they really wanted me to be there. Them, I understand. But is it selfish enough for me to ask for a little understanding?

I deem that some might be speculating on the veracity of what I told them. Now, it boils down to the matter of trust. Friendships are tested by time and situations. Five years. Long enough to know a person, but still short enough to predict what he has on his mind. True friends are tested on how they respond to situations. Including situations like this.

I am not accusing anyone. I may be wrong – and simply be driven crazy by my paranoia. Neither do I want to escalate things. So I’ll just keep it to myself. But this is how I feel today. Hopefully, just today.


Pie said...

hi rhy! :) i sure missed you during the reunion! :) it was sad at first that you werent there with us onboard. BUT learning that you wanted to follow in Shang except for that bad tummy made me think that there will be better times to meet up. :) i didnt know about your bad tummy until you emailed yesterday.

you need not worry about me. i completely understand. :)

hope we can meet sometime. :) take care! cheer up! :) mwah!

BabyPink said...

yes, we missed you rhy.:) but re: "I sent out my apologies – but all I got was silence," i, for one, didn't get/receive your message so i was silent. hehehe:)