Monday, January 09, 2006

A Closed Chapter

A tiny surprise dropped by in my inbox this morning. My ex emailed me. After a long time of no communication with him, it was unexpected for him to get in touch with me.

I consider this a major thing for him. Knowing him, he’s not the type to do this. His pride repudiates him from doing so. As in the past – I can never recall him saying. “I’m sorry.” It was me who always end up saying it, even if the fault was not mine. Is this his way now of saying it? What is he up to?

But what is more astonishing is not his gesture of communicating with me, but my reaction. Zilch. I felt nothing after reading it. No emotions at all. No excitement, no delight, not even pain, nor anger. I was totally unprepared for this but I am quite happy of my reaction. I have proven to myself that I am over him, and that I have finally moved on.

Not wanting to glorify him, I made a decision in the past to stop writing about him and the sad tale of our broken love. But this time, it’s different. This time is a celebration of a happy and stronger heart.

Just to quote from a few lines I wrote before:

“Funny thing is I look back now and smile instead of cry; laugh instead of scream; remember instead of regret. And for the rest of my days I will smile upon these thoughts for I know that it was not done in vain – but in love.”

This time I really mean it. This line is more apt for me say now than ever before.

Yes, I would like him to be my friend. So I emailed him back. Friendship – it’s all there is. As for him emailing me? I wonder what’s with him that prompted him to build the bridge he once burnt?… Must be a new year’s resolution? But that does not matter anymore. What matters most is that we are friends again. Yes, friends - in the truest sense of the word... I have moved on.


BabyPink said...

congrats! you go, girl!:)


Anonymous said...

way to go sis!
GOD is so good to take away all the pain u had in that past.


Lanee Girl said...

awwwwww... thats so nice to hear =)