Monday, July 31, 2006

Long Distance Love Affair

Over the weekend, I met with a friend. So distraught with her current situation, she sought words of advice from a friend whose past relationships were long distance. … Me… And this is what I had to say:

Having gone through two intense serious long distance relationship... would you consider me as the expert? Through it all, I always thought it was perfect... or so I thought… Or at least from the initial stages of our relationship.

Ironic thing is I broke up with my first relationship when we had the chance to be together in the same city. We started the courtship process long distance. It was seamless. Technology was to our advantage. Email, cellphone, snail mail, telephone... All sorts of connection we did it. And despite the distance we felt we were bonded with love. No fights, no arguments. Perfect! But when we were together, we broke up. There were lots of things we discovered from each other that cannot be revealed despite all the technological access. We were not masking, but there are things that you have to see for yourself - habits, idiosyncrasies, mannerisms, etc. It was difficult. Insight: You need to spend time with that person first to get to know more of him/her.

My second relationship was with a long college friend, it was a friendship that blossomed into love. I felt comfortable and amenable in engaging the relationship with him - despite our distance, because I knew him ever since college. I know a lot about him more than I did with my first. It was also good. Despite our distance I felt secure. We also tapped the resources of technology and other forms of communication to be in touch with each other everyday. But we broke up because of another girl. Insight: Most of the men, need physical companionship. While we girls can bank on the emotional investments, men would need extra effort to be on that level.

It would be unfair for me to generalize my past experiences and compare it with someone else’s (and even my possible future relationship included – just in case). At best, I can only learn from them and apply the lessons learned. There is no quick and fast formula for a successful relationship. Distance or no distance, it boils down on how both you and your partner love, trust and respect each other. At the end of the day, it is not about the distance. It is about the love and the lovers.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Meanings Are In People

Words are words. They are but a jumble of letters put together, mixed and match to connote something. But why is it that they say that wounds inflicted by words are far more painful than a sword? And that their scars more pronounced? Could it be that there is something more behind these words?

I’d still say words are words. But meanings are in people. As is it, a word does not mean anything. It is the individual who gives life, color, form and emotion behind these words.

Words are subject to interpretation. Depending upon your frame of reference, you may interpret words said to you accordingly. In like manner, your reaction to those words is dependent on you. You may hear criticism and all sorts of negative remarks. Those are just words. The onus is on you, whether to believe them, to retaliate, or to take it as a challenge to prove them wrong. You may hear praises, accolades and all sorts of good things. The impetus is on you to either receive it with doubt, or rest on your laurels, or to take it as an inspiration to do more.

People may say anything they want. They are entitled to their own opinion. But it is up to you how you take it and how you respond. It is a choice. You can choose to be affected, or choose to be happy. It is not about them, it is you.

At the end of it all, words are words. But meanings are in people. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the human mind is the mightiest.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Love of My Heart

Oh yes, I am in love!
No, I haven’t met him yet. But the idea of him is what keeps this flame of love alive in my heart. Funny how it may seem, but nonetheless this does not invalidate the authenticity of what I feel. It is real... He is real. And someday soon our paths will meet. I don’t know how, I don’t know when. But I am holding on. Because I am certain that when the opportune time comes, he is worth the wait after all.

Someone To Watch Over Me

There's a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we're often told, "seek and ye shall find"
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind
Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet

He's the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret
I'd like to add his initial to my monogram

Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key
Won't you tell him please to put on some speed

Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me