Monday, July 23, 2007

Learning The Art of Letting Go

If life is a game, to me, it is all about winning. Yes, I am an achiever. I felt like I was born to win all the time. I hate the stench of defeat. The pursuit for perfection has always been my passion. Mediocrity is not in my dictionary.

I challenge myself to always be a cut above the rest. I am conscious at all times to stamp my works with my own seal of excellence and quality. I make it a point to set a higher standard than the norm. This is just to keep me up on my toes that I may not be complacent and rest on my laurels.

Indeed, this philosophy has brought me to where I am right now and what I have achieved, so far. While the journey getting here has never been easy, it has always given me the comforting feeling of winning… or has it?

Lately, I just realized that this pursuit of mine is an irony. I work hard and push myself to the limits, so that I can enjoy and be happy. However, the very same quest is giving me so much pressure and unhappiness.

I have realized that I have the tendency to put off living in the present. I’m all too fixated of building that great rosy future, my eyes focused on the far ends of the horizon, dreaming of some magical rose garden. Too far has my sights gone that I have failed to enjoy the tiny buds slowly blooming – just outside my window.

Little did I realize that I am my own worst critic. I demanded more from myself. Now, am slowly adjusting my reigns. Sigh! … I am trying to learn the art of letting go.


Marnellie said...

Hi Rhy...

Oh so sorry to hear about this post. Baka "burn out" ka lang. Try to relax. I just watched LAKE HOUSE movie recently. I remember what the busy "older" doctor said to the younger doc "When you are on a day-off, try to go away. In a place you like most (read: you can find peace, and relax). If you need someone to talk to, Iim just here. Mwah! Ako naman, miss ko na maging busy. hehehee...