Sunday, April 19, 2009

Guys, Let's Talk About Love

Love, love, love … They say it makes the world go round. But for some, the world freezes.

Two days ago I spoke to a very good male friend of mine. We just realized how he has remained single for now already nine years. Wow, for a guy, that’s quite long already.

I know for a fact he still keeps in touch with his ex, who apparently is also single. As much as he would like to hide it, I can sense that he still cares. And so, I tried to ask him some questions that might help him process his thoughts and sort out his feelings:

R: How’s X? She’s also single still, right? And you’re still in constant communication. Haven’t
you both talked about getting back together?

F: Nope. We are good friends. We haven’t talked anything about the future.

R: Maybe she’s just waiting?

F: Maybe … Maybe not.

R: But do you still care? Do you want to get back with her?

F: Maybe … Maybe not. I am just taking things one day at a time. I do not want to rush things. I would like to go with the flow and see where it may lead us.

Woah! Hold right there. “Go with the flow” is a woman’s thing, but definitely not a man’s thing. Men are born hunters. They thrive for conquest. Waiting has never been a man’s specialty, specially if you talk about nine years.

R: You know what, one of the important lessons I learned about love is that if a man loves a woman, he would do something about it. He will find a way. Nothing will keep him from pursuing the woman. So, if no concrete action is done, if the guy is considering “waiting and seeing” for over an extended period of time, then most likely the man is not just into her.

F: I am not in a hurry. Who knows, I might end up single forever?

R: Here’s a tip, if you feel she’s the one already, go follow your heart. Pursue your love, before
it’s too late. But if you feel she is not the one yet, don’t force yourself. Look around. Wait … No, don’t wait. Find that one special person that would really turn your world upside down. The one who can add color and spice to your life… She’s the one.

F: For now, I like the way things are. I learn to enjoy what I have for the moment, and I am happy.

R: Good for you. I just hope someday you will find that one person who will shake you and compel you to move outside your comfort zone; the one who will make you happier.

End of conversation.

I had to leave. I think I have given enough unsolicited advice already. I know how much men hate to receive counsels as these, and coming from a woman at that.

But I would still give my advice to all men out there. If you’re the type of guy enjoying the sweet bachelor life - party on! But I do hope someday you will find that right woman who will rock your world, more than the music that’s being played by the DJ. Because there will come a time that the party music will stop. You can stay right where you are and bask in silence or you can enjoy the new melodies of that sweet love song.

And if you feel nothing but only some friendly affection and nothing more to a particular woman, be clear about it. Do not give her any room for her to hope and dream, or you will crush her. Don’t be too sweet with someone you could not love.

Lastly, if you love a woman, tell her and show it to her. Make her feel secure. Be gentle, be caring, be loving. Give her the attention she needs. Listen to her. If you love a woman, don’t just stand there and wait. Do something. Initiate... Move... Go... This is how you make the world go round.


BabyPink said...

i guess that advice should also go out to all women out there. hehehe:)