Saturday, August 06, 2011

Time Out

Recently, I have drenched my patio with nothing but my tears of pain and my sob stories of my broken heart. Being with Munchkin is not as bad as it looks.  In fact, loving him and to be loved by him is one of the sweetest things in the world! 

It is just that I use this blog as my coping mechanism in dealing with my low emotions.  I just need to vent and release my feelings to keep me sane.  When I am sad, it unleashes me to weave my feelings into words.  I write best when I am sad. Moments of my silence means moments of peace, tranquility and happiness. 

I do not mean to rant against my munchkin and paint a picture of  myself as a martry in waiting for an unrequited love.  I know, and I feel that my Munchkin loves me too. He is such a gentleman, caring, devoted and gentle.  He has never fallen short of showering me with his love and attention.  And this is the reason why I still hold on to the hope of having him back.

I try to think about all negative things about him - his characteristic, quirks, and all other idiosyncracies.  But it all the more highlights that I love him more.  I do not love him inspite of the negatives.  I realized I love him because I am ready to accept and embrace him for the man that he is, amidst his shortcomings. 

Am I blinded by love?  He is not perfect.  I am not perfect.  Life is not perfect.  I do not look at the world with a rose-colored glass. But I look at the glass as half-full. I can vividly see myself holding his hands and growing old with him amidst all the imperfections of this world. 

It is true that you never know what you got until it is gone.  In our time apart, I have come to value him all the more.  If ever he comes back, I will love him, cherish him, and never let him go...

Nevertheless, I know I should be realistic as well.  What if he does not want to hold on anymore and chooses to move on?  Then I shall be happy for him.  All I want for him is to be happy, even if his happiness may mean not having to share it with me.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference."