Thursday, November 08, 2012

The Pretty in Pain



Her voice was firm and she sounded stern when my boss made this mandate, "This client has deep psychological issues.  She is manic depressive.  No other secretary will talk to her, except for Rhyanne."

When she mentioned my name,  I was surprised.  I did not know that inherent part of my job description is taking full responsibility in providing personalized care for highly sensitive clients.  My initial reaction was to ask "why me?".  However, when I opened my mouth the only words that came out were, "yes" and "ok".

It did not take long for me to recognize the accountability given to me.  But instead of complaining, I accept the challenge.  In fact, I feel privileged to be given this responsibility to be of service in this capacity.

The mandate was  no surprise to some, as admittedly I have a natural knack for making clients open up on an emotional level.  I am known for taking in quirky client calls characterized by clients in tears. My boss once quipped that I should start charging for counseling fees as well. 

I am well aware of the fact that everyone has an underlying need to be heard, recognized and acknowledged.  So aside from trying to meet their practical needs, I endeavor to meet their emotional needs as well, even if they don't ask for it.  I just freely give it to them.

From my own life experience I have learned that everyone has a story to tell.  Everyone has a past.  Everybody hurts.  Everyone carries a baggage.  Others travel light, while some carry the whole truck load.  My goal is not to unload their baggage, but to at least make the journey and their encounter with me as pleasurable as possible for them.  

I am driven to help, because I know how it is be in need. For every cry for help, I see myself.  I have developed empathy for others and sometimes treat other people's grief as my own.  This is something that can only be gained through experience.   

I have known defeat, loss, rejection, and suffering.  I was at the brink of depression.  I know how it is to live with a feeling of as if life is without any hope.  I was running in circles and could not see any light at the end of the tunnel, and that is if there really is an end to the tunnel.  

I wanted to escape from it all. I was tempted to seek comfort in things that would give me immediate satisfaction but temporary relief.  However, I was more concerned of the lasting effects and consequences.  Before long, I realized that the healing of the heart cannot be achieved by a quick band-aid solution of escapism.  True healing only comes from embracing and confronting the pain, not avoiding it.

That's right.  Pain is our friend.  Accept it. Face it. Tolerate it.  No matter how difficult and painful it is, it can be endured. And no matter how dark the tunnel is, at some point there will always be an end to it. When you break through the bottom of sorrow, light floods out.

As they say, what does not kill you, only makes you stronger. Pain refines our character,  it strengthens our soul, it builds our faith and increases our tenacity - IF we only allow ourselves to it.  We have a choice to either let this grieving moment make us bitter or better.  Me, I choose the latter.  

The most beautiful and influential people I have known are those who underwent through the deepest pain and found their way out of the depths.  These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity and understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and deep loving concern.  I want to be that kind of person too.

I use the pain to enable me to look at the world with a compassionate and caring lens.  It has taught me to be patient, tolerant and forgiving.  I may be broken, but I am not useless. Instead, I want to use my brokeness in to usefulness.   I want to learn from all my experience and use the lessons to help others, reach out to them and hopefully inspire them to be better persons as well.  

I do not know how, but I will start by making myself available and by giving more of myself to others.  So help me God.  Not by my own wisdom and strength, but only from Him - the true source of love, peace, hope and joy. 

2 comments:

Patio Princess said...

Hello Anonymous!

Thanks for your comment and for adding your insights to my blog. I am not mad at you. I welcome your thoughts. I have never had such passionate blog reader aside from you. And I thank you for that. I welcome the interaction and the exchange of wisdom. Because this is how we grow as a person.

By nature, I am a melancholic person and my way of expressing my sadness is by writing. When I am happy, I cannot write. Hence, most of my blog entries are tainted with a hint of sadness. However, I know this should not be an excuse. Trust that I am trying to break from the mold and compel myself to write when my mood is happy or at least neutral.

Secondly, what I meant in the "Pretty in Pain" is that there us a beauty in whatever trials given to us. Experiencing trials, problems and pain is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people try to avoid it a all cost and so they instead seek immediate relief but temporary gain and even more drastic long term effect.

Life is a journey and it comes in season. When confronted with pain, just accept it, tolerate it, face it and deal with it.

Quoting James 1:2-3 in the bible: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

we sometime think that problems and pain are ugly. Even if we don’t see the purpose of the trial, God will use that trial to build into us what we need for life. This is a promise of Scripture that goes beyond what we currently see. ... And that is the beauty behind pain, or shall I say the Pretty in Pain.

I am not saying that I am pretty in pain. I am PRETTY IN PINK that sees the pretty in pain.

Thank you for your comments and thank you for allowing me to clarify my thoughts. :)

Be blessed and stay blessed. Xoxo

Patio Princess said...

Hi Anonymous!

Thank you for you comments. I have never had someone care so much about the things that I blog about as much as you do. Much more expct someone else aside from me and my mother to regularly read my blog. All these time, I really thought I was venting to an empty space.

I truly appreciate your comments. Trust, that I do not hold your them against you. I get to learn from you and you add more flavor and dimension to my insights. Hey, do you have a blog too that I can follow? If you don't, perhaps it is about time that you do :)

Whilst I may know the answers to my problems, sometimes it is good to hear it from someone else. It reinforces the thought and imprints a deeper impact.

My blog is my secret cry for help. Thank you for responding to my cry.

Yes, Crhyanne no more :) Looking forward to 2013. New year, new life, new dream, new adventure. Im learning, I am trying.

Wish your 2013 will be just as awesome. Happy chili crab cooking in 2013. That sounds (and tastes) awesome!!! :) XoXo