Monday, January 28, 2013

A Journey of Faith

Today officially marks my three-year anniversary in Australia!

Three years before, I lived a busy, career-driven life that affords me with comfortable luxuries – overseas travels, fine dining, shopping galore, home service assistance, etc... All but the luxury of time, sleep and rest.  In search for a better quality of work-life balance, my journey has led me here to the shores down under.

Now, looking at the three years that just passed before me, I asked myself if I got what I wanted? 

The answer is yes and no. Three years is not a long time, but to me it feels like it has been a long, winding and arduous journey.  In a span of three years it has given me a sweet love, candid moments, honest realities, painful heartache and bitter pains, which I have now come to accept and which in return gave me beautiful memories with introspective lessons in love, life and myself.

I am now living a so much simpler life with lesser, if not close to zero work stress. Life here has taught me:

- To relax, calm down, take it easy. Stress is sometimes self-inflicted. Life does not need to be perfect for it to be happy.  

- To be content with what you currently have and be grateful even for the smallest blessing.  You will never learn the real value of what you have, until it is gone.

- To be humble.  I lived a very comfortable life with everything at my disposal back home.  I was a princess.  Here, I am faced with a different reality.  I am considered one of the ordinary migrants from a third world country.  I have to strive harder to prove my worth.  I have to be secure in myself with who I am as a person and not let any speck of racism pull me down.  And in my battles I strive not to be arrogant but instead display confidence with tact and grace, because after all, that’s what a real princess is made of.

- To live a life of putting my faith in action.  Faith is more than head knowledge. Real faith is measured in action through the daily decisions and life choices I make.  I have not fully mastered this lesson yet. I’m barely passing the mark on this one. This is still a work in progress. But I am getting there, by God's grace.

-  To love someone fully, madly, deeply and passionately even to the point that it hurts.  To be loved gives you inspiration, but to love gives you courage and strength, so much so that no matter how it hurts, pain becomes bearable.  I personally never knew that I would be capable of this kind of love.   I discovered it here.  Something about it is magical, beautiful, and indescribable.  You have to experience it to grasp its depth, beauty and meaning.

-  To let go and let God. There are just things outside of your control.  Everything does not need to make sense for now. Just keep the faith and trust that God knows what He is doing and that He is with you, holding your hand in the thick of the storm.  Sometimes He may be silent or sometimes we may feel like He does not care.  Well in fact He does.  He has His reasons.  Circumstances in our lives are engineered to fashion us in preparation of His good, perfect and pleasing plans for our lives.   Things may be bleak at the moment but sooner or later when you go in to the future and look back to the past, you will then be able to connect the dots and realize where and how the journey has taken you.  Soon enough, things will fall in to place, and then things will then make sense.  But for now, let go and let God.  You will never know the meaning, you will never fulfil the purpose and you will never experience God’s best plan for you, until you let go.

When I left and came here, I let go and abandoned the life I had back home.  Did I regret it?  Admittedly, there were days that I would question myself if I did the right move.  But I look back in to my journey and remember how God led me here and how He perfectly engineered the events that brought me here.  I look inside my heart and I find peace.  Yes, without any doubt in my heart, I made the right decision in moving here. 

I ask myself again, did I get what I wanted in moving here?  The answer is still yes and no… but there is more.  Although things may have not exactly been what I expected, I know I am here for a reason and a greater purpose.  And I have a feeling it is going to be something bigger than me.  What is it?  I still do not know. I know for sure it is not going to be a walk in the park.  Most likely I am in for another rugged and probably treacherous journey ahead. I am a bit nervous and anxious of what lies ahead actually.  Yikes! Pretty scary!!!  But if I don’t step out in faith, I will fail to see what God has in store for me next.  Damn! Definitely don’t want to miss out on that!  Whatever it is, it is yet to be discovered as I continue in this rugged but exciting journey of faith.  It is something yet to be experienced as I day by day press on to let go of myself and let God.

God, I let go and lift everything to you.  Amen.