Thursday, March 07, 2013

New Twist of Fate

The idea toyed on my mind for almost over a year.  I did not do anything about it because I was hesitant, scared and was willing to settle within the safety net of my comfort zone. However, I felt deep in my heart that it is time for me to move… interstate.  I prayed about it and asked for God’s confirmation.  Circumstances after the other have provided tell tale “signs” (and even made more reinforced by that one fateful Sunday lunch time incident) that I leave the peaceful and quaint Adelaide and move to the fast paced hustle and bustle in Melbourne. 

When I left my home country, I achieved what I was looking for in Adelaide – a stress-free, peaceful and simple life.  I was not prepared to let go of that.  However, life has become so conveniently peaceful that I feel that there is no growth for me.  I am just running around in circles, with my visions fixated on the past.  Then I realized that I am afraid of change.  What a better way to conquer my fear of change than putting myself in to the heart of it. Time now for a new adventure!

But how? Where do I begin?

It all began when I drafted my resignation letter.  I initially intended to prepare just a draft to evaluate within myself how it will make me feel.  I was curious.  However, upon completing my draft resignation letter, I felt a different sense of peace within my heart and my gut, telling me that it is time.  And so I handed it over to my boss. 

Everyone was surprised – my boss, my officemates, even Bestie ("S").  But I told them that nobody is more surprised and even shocked than myself.  I could not believe what I had just done.  I tendered my resignation, giving them three weeks notice – without any solid plan to bank on.  No work, no house to stay, no ticket yet. Nothing except my hope and my faith.

However, after taking that one big bold step, everything then fell in to place, one baby step at a time.   Then everything went so fast.  Too many things to do, too little time.  I had to wrap up a lot of tasks before I move.  I barely had the time to think about the future.  Everything was centred on the immediate demands of then the present.  People ask me if I found a job.  I told them I will worry about that when I get there.  Back then, my greatest concern was finishing everything in Adelaide.  Thankfully enough, I managed to find a room to rent in a good and considerably posh suburb, just 7km southeast from Melbourne CBD.  This was the only preparation I had insofar as Melbourne is concerned.

In between my busy schedule were various invitations for my “going-away” parties from my different circles of friends.  Despite my hectic schedule, I never declined to any of those invitations.  I committed myself to meeting each one of them because of course I will be missing them.  This has made me realize how much love I have from the friendships I have built over time in Adelaide.  Adelaide has become my home.  And sadly, I have to leave. 

Why, oh why? … Because I have to.  I do not know why just yet.  All I know is that I have to.

I am not ready but God is.  I do not know what lies ahead but God does.  I do not have to understand everything for now.  All I need to do is humbly submit and trust in His great divine plan.  God is able and therefore I must be willing.

In my prayer time, whilst I was still meditating on my decision, God has given me His promise:

“I will go before you and will level the mountains, I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.  I will give you treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” (Isaiah 45:2-3)

Initially, I was doubtful.  I prayed again for further validation.  Lo and behold, when I opened again my bible, I was directed to Ezekiel 36:36 and it states,

“… I the LORD have spoken, and I will do it”.

Enough said.  I was humbled.

I am scared of moving to Melbourne.  I am scared of braving another change in my life.  I am scared of the unknown.  But I am more scared of missing out on God's promises, His plans for me and what could yet be the greatest adventure of my life.    Our lives are defined by the opportunities we get ... even the ones we miss and those we pass aside.

And so I am now here, just four days old here in Melbourne. I do not know where this road leads me, but God does!  Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.

God, into your hands, I commit my life, my everything.  Please take care of me. Be my Provider and my Protector as I go through this process of new adventure.  Amen.


Marvin Trilles said...

Hey! I was looking through some old stuff and stumbled at your blog link. Happy to see you are still actively blogging! Trying to get back too ( i just dont know when LOL). Good luck on your new quest. Kaya mo yan :-)

Patio Princess said...

hi Marvin!!! Thanks for dropping by! I am surprised that you know about my blog... Have I given you my blog link before?.. Can't remember. I do not normally tell many people about this blog.

Welcome back to blog world! Enjoy ... and I will visit you page from time to time. Although yours is very technical for my simple mind to comprehend.

See you around in the web world. :)