Saturday, July 19, 2014

Moving On

So many questions and the answers are so few, if none.  I am left hanging in mid-air.  How can I just let him off the hook so easily?  I deserve some logical explanation.  I should have asked him. I could have demanded for it.  I should have told him all the pent up emotions I kept under wraps.  I was too scared I might say something that I might regret.  I was too concerned not to hurt his feelings.... But wait, what about my feelings?  He never cared for my feelings anyway.

Too late now.  Just let it go.  He is gone.  It is over.  No use replaying the past in my mind.  It is just a wasted energy.  Instead, I must focus now on taking a step moving forward.  It won't be easy but I will have to try.  

I can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing the situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could have, would have happened ... or I can just leave all that broken pieces on the floor and just move on.

The story of my life. I look at other women and wonder, how it can be so easy for them to find and keep the guy?  As for me, it is seems like a never ending story.

Perhaps this is my destiny.  Maybe my happy ending does not include a guy.  Maybe it is just going on my own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing myself up for something better in the future.  Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.

I am not giving up. I'm just starting over again.  

This is the moment I realize that I am enough and I am complete.  There is nothing wrong with me.   In finding the right man for me, it also needs the right timing, the right heart, the right actions, the right motives, the right passion and the willingness to risk it all. 

This is the moment where I realize that yes, I am not perfect, but I am worth it.  I have always given my best to be the right woman. If he can't see it, then he just missed on what could have been the greatest opportunity in his lifetime. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.   

Him, not wanting me is the beginning of me wanting myself. 

I am starting over again.  No more questions, no more doubts, no looking back.