Saturday, December 26, 2015

Someday



One day there will be a man who stays and chooses me each and everyday - and I will be loved.

I will loved for everything I am and the wonderment that spins of my own golden truth.

I will be loved for the moments of everything I'm not - because they will no longer be flaws, but the beauty of finding a silver lining within the darkest of storms.

There won't be any lingering questions, and there will never be the feeling of the ball waiting to be dropped crushing my heart in the process.

Because the man who loves me will be rock steady - and not only will he know what he wants, he won't have any problem pursuing them.

The man who loves me will see my value and he's going to do everything to secure it like a priced treasure, before any other man can.

Because sometime when we know, we just know.

I will be loved in between the spaces of day and night to the place where I can be held close enough to be treasured forever.

My fears will fall to the ground as the golden leaves of autumn's last stand.

I won't cling to maybes and what if's, and I will finally feel what it is like to have a man stand by my side as a true constant, weathering any storm that may arise.

I will finally know what it feels like to simply be loved.

I won't have to struggle with carrying the secret heavy burdens of life all by myself.  There will be a man who will hold and protect me in all of the ways I have ever desired , yet never actually have.

As fiercely as he will protect me, he will also love my intoxicating wildness enough to never want to change a single thing about me - except my last name.

I am not going to fight with him, trying to hang on to being "Miss Independent", because I will see in him the brave warrior soul that I have been seeking all along.

Someday, somehow - I will be loved.

I will be loved by a man who has amazing character - it is not his bank account, not his good looks, not his prominent title , but his integrity.

He won't be the man who seduced me with honey sweetened words, or those who promised me jewels and a trip to paradise.  But the one who saw me when I was still invisible.  He will be the one who saw me at my worst and yet still chooses.

And I will be loved in all of the clandestine ways my heart has longed for, with intentions tasting of authenticity and passion.  

I will be loved not because it is easy, or the situation proves to be convenient, or because I am the best option - but because I am his choice.

Someday I will be loved in all of the ways I have never been and it won't be with someone who wishes to clip my wings or who only wants me on his side to make himself to look more appealing.  I will be loved by a man who looks at me and can never seem to get enough of my enchanting mysteries.

Someday I will be loved and it won't matter what he does for work, it won't matter how much money he has and what type of car he drives.  The precious thing that matters is that he is going to hold me close and love me like no one else ever has.  For me, this is the type of astonishing wealth I am seeking.

I know that someday I will be loved - that someday, someone will choose to stay where others have only left.  I will be loved fully and completely. And that man will show me why I stayed single for as long as I did.

Whether it is tomorrow, next month, next year or even three years from now, I will be loved.  I will be loved with the force of gentle hands and passionate heart.  I will be loved with desire's touch and gentleman's smile.  I will be loved with a brave spirit and determined mind.

Someday I will be loved in the right way for the right reasons... That kind of love who is willing to risk everything for me... Because I deserve the very kind of love that I am willing to give - and that is pure, authentic and whole kind of love.

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Infinity


Nothing lasts forever. Forever has no place in a constantly changing world. Nothing in life is guaranteed.  No one can promise forever, even if they intend it.

Love is not static. But should we now stop believing in love and forever?

Experience and years of contemplation have taught me that if someone tells you "I love you, forever."  Believe it.  Believe that the person loves you and that "forever" is based in the context of here and now. 

Will that "forever" guarantee tomorrow?  I guess it is unfair to demand  an answer.  Whilst an affirmative answer gives us the relief, comfort and security we need, love cannot be imposed. Love is a gift but it cannot be boxed. To demand an answer is not love.  To force answer is selfishness.

I have learned to love. Love. Just love without any expectations.

There is a lesson to be learned from the character of Little Suzie in the"Looney Tunes cartoon story of "A Kiddie's Kitty".  Little Suzie loved Sylvester the Cat so much that she would hug her so tight to the discomfort of Sylvester the Cat, to the point where he cannot breathe.   And in the end, it drove Sylvester the cat to choose to be tormented by a bulldog rather than being "loved" by Little Suzie. 

Somewhere between the ashes of the burnt bridges and diffused past love's flames, I realized that sometimes loving someone means being willing to do anything to get them back... And sometimes it means being selfless to do nothing and surrender them with the space that they need to be happy and grace to be free.

I am learning to love in such a way that the other person feels free.

What's the difference between love and a like? ... Like is when you see you see a nice flower, then you pluck it.  Love is when you see a flower and you water it daily.

To infinity and beyond...

"I have heard that it is so hard to reach the sense of infinity, but at least I'll try.And know that I can't get beyond.  But I want to try." - Toy Story 1

Tomorrow is never guaranteed but I guess it is the hope of possibilities that keeps me going. I think this is what it means to take that leap of faith.